The Memory Bowl

When someone special passes over, your head becomes full of memories which at first only serve to remind you what you think you have lost, but the truth is that the very fact that you have remembered them means they are not lost at all, but there’s a process to go through that allows you see more clearly and begin to look at the memories as a pleasant reminder of events you have experienced with someone very special.

Something else to know is that from here on in you will continue to make new memories, obviously not the ones you thought you would, but new memories, nevertheless.

Here’s my personal trick to keep reminding myself of this as it’s easy to forget. I took a bowl with some meaning to us, this one I bought in Afghanistan about five years ago, it’s made from all local stone and was one of our favourite things.

I then got some crystals, but could be rocks, buttons, anything really. Then as I put them in one at a time, I mentally assigned a past memory to each, in fact if I used every memory, I would have needed a bucket to hold them all, so I focused on the big ones that came to mind. Now the next step was to get some crystals of a different colour and as one of those new memories arrives, I will place one crystal in the bowl for each to signify that as new memory. Of course, I won’t remember what each one is, but the hope is that eventually I will see a nice blend of old and new memories together in the bowl, which is really a visual reminder that’s exactly what’s in my head and I will be able to sit comfortably with them together.

It may seem a bit odd to some people, but for me it’s just another little trick and helps keep everything in perspective.