RUOK
The question is simple enough, but the answers are complex and so different depending on the person, the situation and sometimes just the mood. Someone today asked me and before I knew it, I’m spouting off, yes thanks, better than expected really thanks for asking. Phew glad that’s over again, now let’s bury any issues that might be lurking in my head and get on with it. The difference today was that afterwards, it caused me to stop and have a think about the question and how really are we doing as a family.
Before Julie passed we were a tight little family of six for sure, as are many families, I can liken this to old Wild West when they would circle their wagons to protect themselves from attack. When one person is suddenly removed from the circle, one of two things can happen, the circle can break and become a chain which flails around in the storm that is the aftermath of losing someone so special and can in fact cause the chain to break, leaving family members feeling alone and trying to deal with the loss alone and fighting their demons from all sides. The other option is that the remaining members of the circle pull in tighter together and combine their strength to ward off the attack. I am eternally grateful to have been blessed with the second option, if I hadn’t had the support of the family I am not sure I would have found the reason to keep going through those first four months.
It turns out then, that my answer to the question was pretty accurate, considering what’s happened, I probably am doing better than I had expected, while I can’t say everything’s OK, I can see the potential for it to be quite manageable in the long term. There is one new issue I can’t get out of my head though and that is a worry that what if something else bad were to happen now, I don’t know if there’s anything left inside to get back up again so soon. I don’t have an answer to this one, so am going to talk to someone about it next week as it’s stopping me getting enthusiastic about anything and has the potential to be quite depressing.
On a lighter note and to show how the day can change, I enjoyed a nice Thai meal tonight with my family tonight and fell asleep with a couple of hounds.
