Finding Purpose

I decided to make this a separate blog page, I want to share some of those thoughts I mentioned in the last page, generated from having a more peaceful and uncluttered mind. I’m going to say this is a direct result of having Julie’s spirit living inside of me now, her good influences have pushed out some of my bad ones.

If I have to put my finger on the big one, it’s living without a sense of purpose. But what actually what was it before when Julie was physically here? I don’t think I had ever given that a thought, so why suddenly is it so important?  Is it just an excuse to be lost, to have some sort of reason for my lack of enthusiasm? Well, after giving it some real thought and with the help of my councillor, I have come up with this: I believe that from the day we met, I had pretty much the same thought when you have children, I wanted to be with this person so much, I wanted to protect and nurture her and then when family arrived this just made those feelings stronger. This was my purpose in life, to nurture, support and care for my family and foster a strong bond that will last forever. Not unusual or unique I know, this will apply to half of the people in the world at least, but I hadn’t realised for myself, I just did what I did.

So suddenly, I’m left without my special person to protect and with children who are moving into their grown-up lives and are quite capable of looking after themselves, so whilst we are still close the need is reduced. I haven’t changed so now those feelings to provide support are going out into the universe but have no target to hit so to speak. My councillor suggested that maybe I have to look to find another way to use these feelings, not by trying to find another person but through volunteer work, which I do have previous experience. I think this is quite a good idea and I’m going to start looking to see how that might work for me. Who knows how long I’ll have to wait to be with Julie again, so spending the time helping others seems like a very purposeful thing to do. I’ll post here as I find things.