Another Level
It’s been just over a week since my last visit here and the feeling that came over me when I asked Julie to come and live inside me, is still there and as strong as ever. I’m feeling mentally much stronger now and able to think more deeply. I feel less stressed and able to process thoughts through to a logical conclusion instead of panicking and just pushing them aside, only to have them come back later. This is something I never expected but I’m grateful to have experienced the change.
I mentioned deep thinking, something that has until now only been happening in a negative way, focusing on grief, loneliness and anger. Not a good place to go I can vouch for that. Whilst I can tell you that I would never do anything to hurt my kids, I have had many instances where my technical mind would go to the mechanics of leaving this world, during the times I was searching for some sort of point to keep living without my soul mate. I can tell you now that those thoughts are gone.
As you can see on the first page of this blog, ‘our hope’ was to continue together on our journey with one in the physical world and the other in the spiritual realm. To be very honest, I wanted that, but I expected it to take many years if it would ever become a reality, but suddenly here we are together. I honestly don’t think it’s all in my head and I don’t need to prove it to anyone, so I’m happy to say we’ve reached another level together.
Whilst I won’t mention names here, this change has been the direct result of admitting to myself that I was losing a battle and reaching out to go back to counselling. I had no idea what to say, I had no idea what to expect, maybe nothing, but I received one nugget, the suggestion that some people have invited their special person to take up residence inside them. Since then, there have been more suggestions which resonated with me, so I can definitely recommend taking this path if you are struggling with that voice that won’t go away. Having someone to talk to safely and with professional knowledge is the key.