A Busy Week
It’s been a strange week this week, it started off with news that my daughter had to go into hospital to have her tonsils removed, which is quite a thing for adults, but very necessary. About the same time, I started to feel a stronger presence in the house and a very clear thought that Julie was going away for a while to look after Leanne until the tonsil thing is all over and she’s better. The next morning when I woke up the house felt different, sort of empty but very hard to describe, so I took it that the thought’s I’d received might have been a message and for the next week or two I better just get on with things on my own. Obviously family wise not a pleasant week but the surgery went well and the road to recovery has well and truly started so we are all relieved. Interestingly enough, it’s also been the first week with no strange feelings in the house.
Outside of that everything else continued quite well and I was able to function somewhat normally and even started thinking about the future, which is something I haven’t been able to contemplate previously. It’s not that I particularly care much about it still, but it’s more coming to terms that there may actually be one and what to do with it. No matter what I’m feeling I do know that there are many people worse off than me so maybe the future might hold helping them in some form again. I read somewhere about understanding yourself, where you started, the journey you’ve taken and where you are now and once you know that and are comfortable with your failures, as well as your successes you can put it away and free yourself up to look for new experiences. I think I might give that a go over the next few weeks.
For anyone who’s interested in dreams, my recurring dream/nightmare of coming home and searching the house room by room looking for Julie, came back last night but this time I found her and the kids in the bedroom, but the kids were little and Julie was much younger. I was overjoyed to see her but then it was like my mind went into overdrive and I said; hang on a minute but we had a funeral and there was a white coffin, how can you be here, what’s going on? Suddenly I found myself sitting up in bed shaking then that proverbial ‘ton of bricks’ hit me very hard and reality bit again. I don’t know what to make of it really, on one hand it’s not nice but on the other hand I get to see her for a few seconds, so maybe it’s a ‘careful what you wish for’ thing? I’d be interested to hear other people’s theories on this.