The Next Stage

Something I’ve been reading and thinking a lot about lately is when would come a time, when I can’t cope with constantly feeling heavy and bogged down in grief and not ‘move on’ as they say, but just move to another position where I can still feel connected to Julie but in a way that allows me to live a reasonable life. I had thought this might have been counted in years, but suddenly this week, I feel like it’s time to make the move.

We were always a private couple and were happy with that, so now I feel like I want to separate my life into three areas or boxes, work, time alone privately with Julie and a new box, which I’m calling my new life where I will move away from my past and start to create new memories or visit past places with a new perspective.

When this first happened, I wrote a journal, which was very dark. I then moved to this blog which has been helpful but doesn’t seem to play a part going forward, so I’m going to leave it sit by itself for a while. I’ve also parked Facebook in the same way and am going to go and start filling that third box with new things and new people until it’s time to be together again.

I have two promises to keep.

• Look After the Kids

• Wait for Me

Apart from those two things, I’m free to continue unsupervised.